


The Spaces In Between

by freelancejouster



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Light Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-17 11:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15460065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freelancejouster/pseuds/freelancejouster
Summary: Callie wasn't sure why she'd only considered men, first and only, but she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.





	The Spaces In Between

Callie always thought that she knew what she liked in a man.

Caring, compassion, an easy masculinity that made her want to tuck herself in against a chest were a good start. A passion, usually, though not always. A voice that they used and strong opinions maybe. Someone she could talk to. Someone she could get along with.

And it — she wasn't sure why she always considered men, first and only. Maybe she should have realized the things she was starting to realize a lot more quickly than was actually happening, but, well.

She couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

Callie remembered it clearly — so clearly. Like every little part of the memory was seared into her brain. The smell of the chalk dust left on the blackboard, the little pot of marigolds in the corner, the soft honey notes of Ximena's perfume. Remembered how /excited/ she'd been to tell Ximena the good news, how she'd practically raced over there, smiling to herself at how she'd imagined Ximena would react.

She'd probably hug her, right? And hold on just a little too long. Or maybe she'd squeal a little in a way that wasn't really her, but was beautiful and carefree in a way she didn't usually allow herself to be.

Callie hadn't ever imagined that Ximena would kiss her — hadn't thought to dream of it. But she remembered it now. The pretty eyelash stuck to Ximena's cheek, the way she'd touched Callie's face in way that seemed like she'd been holding herself back all this time. Like she always wanted to be touching Callie. The way Callie's lips tasted just a little bit like spearmint, even after she went back home.

She wasn't sure why she'd never thought of it before, but she couldn't stop thinking about it now. She found herself tracing slowly over her lips sometimes late at night, without even realizing it. Like she somehow might be able to feel what she felt then, again.

A heavy feeling, a little like longing but fonder, settled into her chest and she let it. It could stay there for awhile for her to peek secretly at in the middle of the night or on the drive home from school under the trees thick with green leaves as they swept quickly towards summer and towards graduation.

It was a little hard to think about sometimes. Hard to acknowledge that maybe this was a — a /crush/ like the ones she'd had on so many boys now. And that maybe it was something she should have considered a long time ago.

Ximena didn't say anything about it, didn't bring it up. It was easy to just let whatever feelings were growing in Callie's chest stay there. Easy to try and throw herself back towards Aaron, a relationship she'd already done before, a relationship she was more familiar with.

But it — it didn't work out quite like that. He'd told her no. Ximena had told her she'd wait forever for her with such an earnestness that it was impossible not to believe her.

Callie had wanted to badly to be brave. To look her in the eye and kiss her but it felt like too much. Like whatever that thing fizzling just under her tongue was might scare her too much to say anything just yet.

An opportunity not taken.

 

\--

 

Time passed. A hundred things went right.

Everyone was safe. Ximena had gotten DACA. Ximena had graduated from college and Callie and Brandon from high school despite running in at the last minute. She'd never imagined so many things could go right at once and it — it was starting to feel like maybe she should take that chance and make it one more.

It wasn't hard to get time with Ximena. Even at the beginning of their friendship, she'd always made time for Callie. Sometimes it had been on the way to a protest or at the end of roller derby practice, but she'd always be there with a kind word and a special smile. Just for Callie.

They hung out in Callie's backyard. Callie wasn't sure when greenery had started feeling so much more like something solid and safe, but maybe it was just the backyard with its porch swing and its trees and all the places they had hung paper lanterns and fairy lights for their many parties and celebrations. Maybe it was one of the first places that really felt like /home/ not quite as overrun as other parts of the house with her family.

Ximena joked and told Callie about her day. She tucked a curl behind her ear, a little self-conscious but trying not to let it show. They hadn't talked about /them/ since that night in bed and it felt weird to talk around it, but also it really felt like they needed to.

"So —" Callie started as Ximena came to the end of her story. Met Ximena's eyes carefully and tried not to betray how /nervous/ she felt, something jittery in her fingertips, in her stomach.

Ximena looked back at her, eyes shining. Not for the first time, Callie's not sure how she missed it.

Looking back now, it was everywhere she looked, in everything they touched. Maybe not right from the beginning — they'd started as something like tentative friendship, Callie looking over Ximena's shoulder as she worked on her art and gave tips where she could. She'd been so inspired by this point of view so different but just as compelling as her own. A mentor, someone to hold her hand and drag her steadfastly in the direction she'd asked to go.

But she should have noticed the way this careful guidance had changed to stolen glances, the way Ximena's smile had broken beautifully across her face whenever they met gazes, the way she lingered, just out of reach.

Callie felt a little stupid, thinking about it now. She'd always been so quick to realize how boys and men felt about her, the things that they wanted from her — almost always willing to give it some kind of chance at a dedicated interest. To miss the same gestures in Ximena — it made her feel a little guilty to think too long about. Like she might not be the kind of person she wanted to be just yet.

She bit at her lip, self-conscious.

"So?" Ximena asked with a kind smile.

Deep breath.

"Do you remember what you said to me, like a couple weeks ago now?" Callie asked.

"I say lots of things to you," Ximena said with a little laugh.

"About — about how you'd wait forever for me?" Callie asked. She had a terrible urge to fidget, to twist her hands together and bite at her tongue, but she didn't want Ximena to think that she was nervous because she was going to let her down easy or anything. That wasn't what she wanted to do at all.

"Yes," Ximena answered. Her voice was — she sounded scared, almost. Like she didn't want to hope.

"What if —" Callie let herself smile a little bit. "What if I told you that you didn't have to wait any longer?"

“What —” Ximena started. She was leaning a little bit forward, heavy earrings catching the light and Callie was so scared. So scared that this was too much for her or maybe that she was making a mistake somewhere. She wasn’t ready for this. She didn’t know enough about herself, couldn’t quite be enough for someone as wonderful as Ximena. “What do you mean?” she asked.

Callie wanted to badly to lean forward, but couldn’t make herself. Balled her firsts tightly in her lap. Instead, she asked, “What if you kissed me again?”

“Do you want me to?” Ximena asked, meeting her eyes and then dragging her gaze down Callie’s face, resting heavy on her lips for a moment. Her voice was always so nice, low and pretty, Callie had always thought so, but now it sounded so much better than if ever had. Musical and sultry.

“Please,” Callie whispered.

Ximena leaned a little bit closer, hovering for a moment, giving Callie the room to change her mind. Giving Callie the room to be brave.

Callie leaned in, brushing her lips soft against Ximena’s, barely pressing down but not quite chaste either. She smelled like sugar so close, made the softest /mmm/ noise into the kiss and Callie felt something ding distantly in her chest in response. Callie hadn’t ever really thought to appreciate just how pretty she was, how nice she smelled, how soft her skin was.

She couldn’t help herself and pressed a little closer for more. Tasted Ximena’s lipgloss and a little bit of spearmint again. Felt Ximena’s fingers brushing carefully at her waist like she was something precious and found herself completely melting in response.

Why had she never thought about this before? How soft the curve of her waist was, how pretty she looked up close, little flecks of mascara at the corner of her eyes. Callie pulled back to really look at her, to cup her cheek in her hand. Ximena leaned into the touch, closing her eyes and sighing a little.

“Kiss me again?” Ximena asked after a moment. Callie couldn’t help but grin and oblige her.

They pressed together easy, like they had all the time to kiss in the world. Callie’s mouth opened just a little under the heavy kisses and Ximena made the barest /Oh/ noise and then was dragging her tongue along Callie’s bottom lip, making everything fuzzy at the edges. Soft and fuzzy in the best way.

The door opened somewhere behind them. “Ugh, finally,” Callie heard Mariana say, the click of high heeled sandals on their porch. Callie and Ximena broke apart giggling. “I was wondering when the two of you would happen; Callie I didn’t know you were gay. How come you didn’t tell me?”

“I mean,” Callie glanced at Ximena and made a face, before glancing back. She still felt kind of floaty, like this might not be real. “I don’t know that I am, but I know I like Ximena.”

“I could have told you that,” Mariana said, rolling her eyes a little. She was carrying a large box labeled Jesus against her hip. She took a careful step onto the grass and then proceeded to stride across the lawn. She set the box just inside the garage, shimmying it to get it to sit where she wanted it. “Well don’t let me interrupt you,” she said, as she crossed the lawn back towards the house, wiggling her shoulders a little.

Callie met Ximena’s eyes and they grinned at each other fondly. It was always a little embarrassing to be caught kissing anyone — always more so when caught by Mariana, who Callie loved, but always seemed to make things more awkward than they needed to be.

Mariana clicked the door shut behind her.

“Well, you heard her,” Callie said, wiggling a finger at Ximena to coax her closer.

Ximena’s following laugh was the best thing she’d heard all day.

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up in case you were going to check out my platforms/other fic — I usually write Kpop fic lol
> 
> Thank you for reading; leave me a comment! I appreciate all feedback :)
> 
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